I’ve always enjoyed hunting. I love the feeling of it all. The heightened reflexes, the thrill of the chase, zeroing in on prey, the absolute certainty that I would be returning home with the spoils, and taking the shot.
That being said, as I’ve gotten older, things have changed slightly. I still feel that thrill, I still enjoy the hunt, but at that moment when I KNOW I can and will take the shot and WILL end up taking my target, I lose interest.
I don’t completely lose interest mind you, but I no longer have the urge to hunt that particular beast. They get relegated to a different section of my mind. The thrill is now in the chase, it’s not longer in the capture. (Plus taking the shot hurts people.)
This happens frequently, with almost every prey animal I come in contact with, though sometimes the hunt takes longer.
Humans are exhaustion hunters by design. We just keep coming after whatever we’re hunting until they give up and die. We’ll follow for DAYS, until they’re too tired to move and collapse. Persistence Hunting. Check it out.
So this is all a metaphor.
That being said, I am full of myself sometimes, but this is also not wildly inaccurate.
Sometimes, I am hunting. Some, I’ve hunted for years. But once I know I have the killshot loaded and the target in my sights, the death is a change in placeholder in my mind, and I NO LONGER PULL THE TRIGGER.
Some people don’t understand that, so I thought I’d explain.
As for me, Hunting is (mostly) an unconscious exercise, a way my body and mind and spirit respond to the world around me to help me make sense of people in a way I can understand. (…I have these lists.) Usually, once I have hunted I can then form a better friendship with them. For some, the thrill of the hunt goes both ways and that thrill is what a great friendship has been built upon over the days/months/years.
As to why you’re wrong to be upset: It’s because I’ve already relegated the prey you’re worried about to another section of the card catalog system in my mind. Months ago. …and frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t notice or understand why. Maybe after reading this, you’ll understand better. I know I could’ve taken the shot, so it no longer interests me.
I am a hunter. Its nothing to be ashamed of. It is an integral part of who I am. The thrill I get is like butterflies in your stomach (or whatever the manlier version of that is. Butterflies with BEARDS!!).
I would miss it were it ever to be gone. I would also be at a loss of how to classify certain people in my mind. So I plan to keep on hunting, minus the kill shot, because… lets be honest, bullets hurt people. And the blow-back is hell.