Colorado Legalized Recreational Marijuana and some parents don’t watch their kids

Colorado congratulations!  You’re the first state to legalize a plant with more benefits than downsides.  The major downsides of marijuana being its illegality and  an empty fridge.


Now, before I embark on this article let me just say that I have never smoked marijuana.  I’m not a fan of the way the smoke smells.  It makes my stomach hurt.  But, I am all about the legalization of this drug.  It opens up government revenue streams, allows people to legally get a natural medicine that helps a myriad of terrible conditions (including cancer), and will stop a lot of needless future incarcerations on drug charges.

That being said, there are some people who are idiots.  Let me direct your attention to the following article HERE.  We’ll dissect this thing together.  In case you don’t follow, I’m the writing in red:

LONGMONT, Colo. (CBS4)– Police in Longmont are trying to figure out how a toddler got her hands on marijuana that made her sick.

Two year old Evelyn tested positive for pot and ended up in the hospital but her mother doesn’t know how the child came into contact with the now-legal drug.

Ended up in the hospital?  Really?  You mean like, you took her to the hospital for a blood test and then brought her home?

Evelyn’s mother, Aida Hernandez, believes the child ate part of a cookie she found on the ground in the grass outside of their apartment.

“It was brown, like a chocolate chip cookie,” said Hernandez.

 Hi!  I let my child eat stuff off of the ground and then I’m surprised when my child gets ill.  Also,  I think chocolate chip cookies are brown.

Hernandez said she took it away from her but about a half hour later noticed something was wrong.

Hi again!  I took something away from my daughter and between then and when I thought it might have POISONED her I “lost” the thing I took away so the police couldn’t find it and the doctor’s couldn’t test it for anything.  Sounds stupid and suspicious.

“She was asleep, she was opening and closing her eyes and she couldn’t walk really well. She was weak,” said Hernandez.

Soooooooo… she was high?  She was asleep and couldn’t walk very well?  I can’t walk while I’m sleeping either.  Also, when I first wake up I’m like a shambling corpse.  Sounds to me like she was asleep and/or high.

zombiewalkingdeadIs breakfast ready?  I just woke up and I might be high.

Hernandez said they immediately went to the hospital where doctors said the toddler tested positive for THC, the active ingredient in marijuana.

Shit!  The kid got into the weed stash.  Get rid of it and make up a story.  Try to make it believable though.  Take her to the hospital for no reason, quick!

3921_4e9cIt’s legal now so we’re only doing this to prove we’re not bad parents.

“They do a blood test and that’s when they told me. That was a surprise,” said Hernandez.

Police in Longmont are investigating but said they do believe the mother. Officers searched the home for any signs of marijuana use and found nothing.

We believe her.  We’re just searching her house for shits and giggles. 

police-search-under-mattress“Open up!  This is the poli…err… bed bug inspectors!  We check EVERYWHERE!

Hernandez also said she has agreed to take a blood test.

“It’s everywhere now that it’s legal they have it everywhere,” said Hernandez.

And I’m probably part of a group that wants to stop the legalization process and who loves run on sentences.

Her oldest daughter, Amira, is happy to have her little sister back at home. She said what happened is random and worries it could happen to anyone.

Anyone that lets their kids wander around and put anything into their mouths and then doesn’t keep track of whatever it was.

girl-smoking-weed-dtespeople“I’m like, really glad my sister’s ok.  Like, I have no idea where she got the pot.”

“All of the parents watch out for their children. I don’t want other children getting what she got,” said Amira.

…High.  She got high.  The worst part of it for the baby was probably the needle from getting her blood drawn and the overdramatic antics of her mother.  “Poisoned!  Poisoned by that marijuana cookie I mysteriously vanished in 30 minutes of time.  I hope you’re happy Obama!  This is somehow all your fault!”


The group Smart Colorado believes edible marijuana products don’t have enough regulations and think more of them will end up in the hands of children.

See to me, this whole scenario sounds like it was concocted to get more regulations onto these marijuana products.  Maybe it’s just me, but it seems highly suspicious.


Police did not find the cookie that Evelyn apparently ate.

Even though the mother said she “took it away from her.” 

Surprise.  Surprise.

Ok so after that short stint of being a red head I’m back to black.  Now.  This is ridiculous fear mongering at it’s worst if you ask me.  Now go check out the other kid who got a hold of pot.

Marijuana saved her life.  Oh shit!  Someone is benefiting from marijuana use.  Not surprisingly.

Anywho, I don’t have anything else to say.  This mother is stupid.  I have kids and I understand that they get into stuff from time to time when you’re not looking.  If not for her lack of attention, she’s stupid for “losing track” of what she thought poisoned her child.  To me the whole situation is highly suspect.

I hope this legalization process continues throughout the rest of the united states.  I hope no amount of negative press thrown into the faces of the country will stop it.  Because there is no reason for it to be illegal.  People don’t get stupid because of using drugs.  Some people are stupid and stupid people on drugs do stupid things.  And usually are the ones getting the press for it.

drunk-stupidYou’re welcome.

Good luck America.  You’re going to need it.


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