Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few months (or you live outside of the Baltimore/Washington area) you may have noticed something exciting! HFS is back! The monarch of music –The radio station of radio stations –The alliteration of alliterations?
I ran out, give me a break.
HFS defined my middle and high school years. Great music, the HFStival, Awesome DJ’s: Neci, Tim Virgin, Rob Timm, Bob Waugh, G Crash –mmmmmmm I love me some Gina Crash.
The list goes on. Basically it was the awesome for years. Then one day they suddenly switched to El Zol –which is great if you like tropical Latin dance music. No warning. It sucked.
98 Rock had a party celebrating the death of a rival. DC 101 played multiple tributes, spoke of how petty 98 Rock was and mourned the loss of a compatriot.
But now it’s back! Hell yeah! All is right with the world!
“But wait… Why are you writing a rant then?” –I seem to hear you say. Well I’ll tell you. Since the triumphant return of HFS I’ve found a few issues –3 to be exact.
1. There is a new ad campaign that HFS is running:
(Paraphrasing): “HFS, the radio station where you don’t have to listen to this <enter rock ballad usually found on 98 ROCK> to hear this <enter new alternative rock song mashup> HFS, Baltimore’s alternative… to 98 Rock.”
Come the fuck on HFS. The shit 98 Rock did in 2005 throwing that party was some petty bullshit. Why would you have an awesome comeback 6 years later and then start your own petty bullshit campaign? What is wrong with your ad department? You guys are better than that. You can stand on the merits of your music and lineup alone, you don’t need to be that arrogant kid who pushes people around because he can. Plus, some of those ballads are pretty good.
Don’t be a dick, HFS.
2. Ok, I’m all for Nostalgia, and some amazing and magical moments were had at HFStivals in the past. The idea of the “HFStival echo” was a good one in theory. Some of the songs you guys are playing in these echos are classics and are awesome –when we listen to the studio recordings. The live performances of some of the bands are terrible. Don’t try to pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about. I love Everclear as much as anyone, and I’m sorry Art, but that crap version of Santa Monica from the festival should NEVER be heard again.
It should be lost in the archives. That isn’t the only one that has been bad, but it is the only one that has irrevocably burnt itself into my memory and so far no amount of drinking has been able to get it out.
My advice? Have someone listen to these songs before you play them, don’t just play them for nostalgia’s sake. Fuck, some of them are really terrible. Cut that shit out HFS.
3. I love that Tim Virgin, Neci and Gina -ohgodyes- Crash are back on the air. They are awesome and always sound excited and pump you up for your day.
Tim being on in the morning is awesome. You’re headed into work and you have him playing awesome upbeat music with his “excited-as-fuck-to-be-bringing-you-awesome-music” voice. I love it.
G Crash relieves him and it’s all cool. You have her hanging out with you all through the day. Lunch time? Gina Crash. Oh yeah. Your lunch has now become the best lunch ever. Are you drooling because you’re hungry or because Crash is on? The only real decision you have to make is do you sing along or chew?
Crash leaves as you’re finishing up work but it’s cool because it’s HFS! You’re sure that someone cool is going to hang out with you during your terrible rush hour commute hom—who the fuck is Chris Emry?
Now let me get this straight: It’s not that I don’t like Chris Emry because he doesn’t bring the same memories up from my teenage years/early twenties, it’s because he is not a good DJ.
During your rush hour ride home, which is usually the longest time you’ll spend in the car listening to the radio; the time you need to keep your spirits up so you don’t kirk out and start GTAing everyone around you, you have this guy. A guy with a completely bland voice, no excitement, who makes awkward jokes, who obviously does not connect with this generation or the previous generations who listen to the station.
Is he the station president’s son or something? How did he get that prime time slot gig?
Fuck, put Josie or Spam on during rush hour. Someone cool who will keep you pumped and make you want to stay in your car longer. I’d say give Neci his spot, but she obviously likes the night time slot. She’s been there forever. I love you too girl, you keep up the awesome!
I don’t know who’s decision it was to put Chris Emry in that time slot, but it wasn’t a good one. He’d be good for like Sunday morning… before 10… so before most people are awake.
I wouldn’t say fire the guy, but wh… ok. I feel like I’m beating a dead horse. You get the picture. Don’t you guys listen to your own station? He’s not who you want to hear when you’re feeling depressed-stuck in traffic.
Other than that, you guys are doing an awesome job of playing awesome music! Keep it up. We missed you and we’re glad you’re back. I haven’t listened to another channel since you guys came back.
…though I might have to head back over to DC 101 during rush hour if it doesn’t get any better.