How would a wounded wolf mother protect her pup? It’s nature, not a threat.
–So you were in a bad situation and needed a way out. You happened to have a great friend who was willing to give you a place to live pretty much no questions asked. You moved in and were grateful for, oh, lets say about three months. Three to six months. Then that grateful feeling began to give way to another: entitlement.
You felt you deserved to have this other person take care of you since you’d had it so bad where you were. Entitlement soon gave way to nonchalance and then a devious thought entered your brain… “I owe this person lots and lots of money for basically taking care of me for this whole time BUT if we were dating then it would just be them taking care of a significant other. The debt would be erased.” Unfortunately for you and fortunately for our friend, they do not want to be with you.
Here is where we enter the crazy bit and where we have stayed for a while now.
Now you’ve got a new job, a new place and things seem to be going well. You’re living like a kid, spending your paycheck on the next newest shiny thing. Occasionally you’ll get something for your benefactor and say something like: “I got this for you because you’re such a good friend to me.”
How fucking disrespectful. Do you even know what friend means?
Have you even noticed how depressed you’re making them? Do you even care? Maybe you can’t see it but you’re sucking the life out of your savior. We can see it. You’re making a lot of people uncomfortable. Have you noticed you don’t get invites to things anymore? Have you noticed no one seems glad to see you much? It’s not because we hate you it’s because we hate how you’re treating our friend.
Perhaps you don’t see it. Perhaps you are so used to being passive aggressive that you don’t realize how damaging you are. I used to be like that so I know how badly skewed looking at the world through your own eyes can make things. For all your asinine talk of being sensitive, how can you not see what you’re doing?
You keep getting money and burning it like so much kindling. Have you even begun to pay back what you owe? Have you even spoken about it? I know your benefactor wont bring it up. Generosity (as much a vice as a virtue) is within them and your host will never be anywhere near as domineering as you. Confrontation is not a strong suit for our friend. Those of us who count your savior as our near and very dear friends are watching with growing distaste. You are draining emotionally and financially and you just don’t seem to care. Does it fall on those generous shoulders to take you everywhere you need to go? To get you from wherever you are? To deal with all of your crazy baggage? All of your crazy shit? Yes, we can all see that you are doing it mainly for attention. Everyone but you it seems. Can you take a step back from yourself and see how ignorant and juvenile you’re being? Do you see it now? Do you just not care?
We counted you among our friends once. Our Norse hospitality would still grant you shelter in our home if you ever needed it. You would still be granted every courtesy. –but you are seriously damaging any chance you have of a continued friendship if you do not change how you’re acting.
We are a clan made up of friends and family and friends who’ve become family. Think of a wolf pack or a village of vikings. Think of the slavering fangs and the bloodied axes. Think of the swords and the noise and the pain. Think about how a member of the pack would be defended. Think about how they would be protected from as much harm as possible. Your benefactor is as much a sibling to me as my own flesh and blood. A member of our clan. Our pack. Our family. I can be level headed and see through the red and black curtains of rage. I’ve dealt with rage for so long that it has become a warm friend. I can think around it and perhaps better sometimes because of it.
Think about how the one you are damaging is our family. Think about the safe haven we try to surround our people with. Think about how you used to be included in that haven. Think about how I feel about what you’re doing and know that my wrath is nothing compared to the wrath of my mate and the rest of my clan. Now think about making good on your debts (monetary and emotional) to the one you call ‘friend.’
You make me sick right now.