(Lindsay’s Guest Rant)

Ok, so in the morning I have my regular routine. It typically goes something like this:
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1.Wake up
2.piss
3.make coffee
4.drink coffee
5.smoke cigarette
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Sweet sweet nectar.

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6.shower
7.dress
8.drink more coffee
9.smoke more cigarette
10.waste time
11.take shit
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Yes, girls poop too...

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12.brush teeth
13leave for work
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Sounds simple right? On Wednesday my poppa had different ideas. Everything is going great, I’ve taken steps 1-5 no problem, at this point I go find my towel and whatever I may need for my shower. All ready for my shower, I walk out of my room and to the bathroom.. ok somebody is in there, no big deal, I’ll have a seat maybe close my eyes for a few minutes… which SLOWLY turns into 20 then 30 minutes. First of all what do men do in the bathroom that takes 30 FUCKING MINUTES?!?!?!
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Seems about right

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Now he’s out of the bathroom.. after gathering my stuff and airing out the bathroom I can take my shower.
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So pretty! I want this bathroom.

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Steps 6-10 done! Time to complete the process.. NOPE he’s taking a shower. Now I haven’t mentioned that all of this is taking place between 2 and 4 in the morning. WHY DOES HE NEED A SHOWER AT 3:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING?!?! Are you kidding me? Please tell me you’re kidding?
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Cue 5 hours of work with stank mouth AND the bubble guts. No good. FUCKING BASTARD.
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