(Lindsay’s Guest Rant)

Ok, so in the morning I have my regular routine. It typically goes something like this:
1.Wake up
3.make coffee
4.drink coffee
5.smoke cigarette

Sweet sweet nectar.

8.drink more coffee
9.smoke more cigarette
10.waste time
11.take shit

Yes, girls poop too...

12.brush teeth
13leave for work
Sounds simple right? On Wednesday my poppa had different ideas. Everything is going great, I’ve taken steps 1-5 no problem, at this point I go find my towel and whatever I may need for my shower. All ready for my shower, I walk out of my room and to the bathroom.. ok somebody is in there, no big deal, I’ll have a seat maybe close my eyes for a few minutes… which SLOWLY turns into 20 then 30 minutes. First of all what do men do in the bathroom that takes 30 FUCKING MINUTES?!?!?!

Seems about right

Now he’s out of the bathroom.. after gathering my stuff and airing out the bathroom I can take my shower.

So pretty! I want this bathroom.

Steps 6-10 done! Time to complete the process.. NOPE he’s taking a shower. Now I haven’t mentioned that all of this is taking place between 2 and 4 in the morning. WHY DOES HE NEED A SHOWER AT 3:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING?!?! Are you kidding me? Please tell me you’re kidding?
Cue 5 hours of work with stank mouth AND the bubble guts. No good. FUCKING BASTARD.

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